“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring love.
Where there is offense, let me bring pardon.
Where there is discord, let me bring union.
Where there is error, let me bring truth.
Where there is doubt, let me bring faith.
Where there is despair, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness, let me bring your light.
Where there is sadness, let me bring joy.
O Master, let me not seek as much
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love,
for it is in giving that one receives,
it is in self-forgetting that one finds,
it is in pardoning that one is pardoned,
it is in dying that one is raised to eternal life.”
- Prayer of St. Francis
I’ve learned many things living in rural Alabama, and other things I’ve had to relearn.
I was raised a New England Catholic, so I’m familiar with the Prayer of St. Francis. I never really studied it though. Then one night, as I recall it was Year Three into my culture shock of moving to Alabama, that it came to me I should seek to understand rather than be understood. I needed to stop expecting people to care about my positions or feelings. Instead, I needed to work on finding out more about them without trying to change them.
It was revolutionary on personal and professional level. With this new perspective, I had a reason to be in my situation. I was there to observe, understand and document. Occasionally I still fell into the trap of feeling responsible for something that was way beyond my power. I was never going to change anything, especially with my northern accent. But I could humanize people who have often been stereotyped. My time in Alabama has taught me that people are more alike than they are different, but that also doesn’t negate the differences.
For the past two entries, I’ve focused on authenticity. I’ve lived in a variety of places and I’ve tried to change who I am in order to fit into those regional cultures. Maybe I was doing it wrong. I tried to fit in rather than considering whether something was a good fit for me.
Alabama has given me so much. I would not be the writer I am today without the experience of living here. I’m also stronger, more aware person because of it. As this period of time draws to a close, I now have to think about my next step. The question isn’t who will I be. It’s what do I want to experience next.